“Writing a ‘Last
Letter’ When You’re Healthy,” by Dr. V.J. Periyakoil (New York Times, 9.7.16), put
me in mind of an annual writing exercise I do every New Year’s Day (or
thereabouts). It’s a year-end review of the major experiences and events in my
life from the past year, especially those related to work, hobbies, friends,
family, health, travel, and so on.
To create my review,
I go through my journals and calendar from the past year, then type up what I think is worth saving. Entries
from recent years have included doing a presentation at the International Urban
Wildlife Conference at the Lincoln Park Zoo in 2015; touring the “1968” exhibit
at the Chicago History Museum with my long-time friend, Judy in 2014; and going
solo to London, to celebrate my November birthday in 2013.
In Dr. Periyakoil’s article, the “Last Letter” refers to the
Stanford Friends and Family Letter Project, which provides a template for doing
a specific kind of life review.
As she writes, “[w]ith guidance from seriously ill patients
and families from various racial and ethnic groups, we developed a free
template for a letter that can help people complete seven life review tasks:
acknowledging important people in our lives; remembering treasured moments;
apologizing to those we may have hurt; forgiving those who have hurt us; and
saying “thank you,” “I love you” and “goodbye.”
And what interests me most—and reminds me of my own less
focused yearly review—is that people can use two different versions of the
template: an illness letter and a healthy letter. Dr. Periyakoil says that people
not confronting serious illness can “use the letter as a living legacy document
and update it over time.”
Now “over time” doesn’t have to mean yearly as I do it, but it could.
Or it could mean every six months or five years. Whatever the schedule, I think it's the regularity that matters most, the piling up of the reviews, rather than waiting to do one "final life review."
For starters, it might make that final one much shorter—especially
the regrets, forgiveness, and apology sections.
To read the entire article:
And here’s a direct link to the template: http://med.stanford.edu/letter/friendsandfamily.html
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