With Gratitude to Poet Elizabeth Onusko

The World’s Oldest Person

BY ELIZABETH ONUSKO

has died. She attributed her longevity

to divorce and raw eggs,

which she ate daily.

A previous record holder

had no idea why she’d lived so long.

Another credited the Lord; still another

cited getting enough sleep. (They’re primarily

women.) Moisturizer, home cooking,

kindness. Hard work. Expensive lingerie.

A former world’s oldest man claimed

the secret was joy. Minding your own business.

Bowling, fishing, great-great-grandkids.

Many lived for decades alone.

One got her hair done on Tuesdays.

One took a job as a housekeeper at ninety.

Every night she set her table

before eating a plate of pasta.

She was buried with a photograph of her son,

who’d died in infancy. Some had the title

for hours, others for months

or years. They gave interviews, greeted fans.

One declared there was nothing left

to accomplish. Another lamented that

it had gone so fast. Their birth records

were hard to come by, if they even existed.

One wasn’t sure what day she was born,

but her marriage license confirmed the year.

They fought for women’s suffrage,

endured Jim Crow, lost count

of wars. Most passed quickly

and peacefully. The person who lived

to the greatest confirmed age thus far

was a chain-smoker

who quit when she could no longer see

well enough to light a cigarette.

She wanted to go to the moon.

She ate two pounds of chocolate each week.

(Published in The Sun, August 2018)